Cough Cough MUCUSPLOSION

Everyone wish my girlfriend Laurie a safe and happy two months in Germany! She's in the air right now! You know what else is in the air right now? VIRUSES FROM MY MOUTH!

I'm extremely sick. Just in time to toast the end of my Hectic Weeks of Uncharacteristically Nonstop Socializing, my bronchitis has become feverish. It hurts to type, but it hurts more to lie down. OPERATION: UPDATE WEBSITE CODE OBSESSIVELY TO DISTRACT FROM MISSING GIRLFRIEND will have to be postponed. Anyone know any miracle bronchitis cures? I can't afford to miss any more work!

Speaking of Nonstop Socializing, one of my many friends who fit into the category "leaving California" just called and offered to kidnap me for the evening. This is something I want more than most things to have happened, but I had to decline. Declining was something I already didn't want to do, and the magic technology that is cellular phones decided not to deliver most of what I was saying to the other party. Yes, we as a species has come a long way... from "Watson, come here, I need you" to "CRKCLSTH, BRT-- ET-- CA-- ETTER? ...O? ...GH, I GUESS I'LL SHK-- ...NRGH YOU LATER."

Since this is totally a blog and not my friggin' diary jeez LOL, here's a deliciously curmudgeonly link to an interview with Billy West, the voice of Fry on my favorite television show ever, American Dad.

FOOLED YOU HA HA! It's Futurama. Sorry, that was an awfully offensive joke; normally I wouldn't even joke about liking American Dad. But I'm FEVERISH AND TYPING AHAHAHAHA! And the Internet is surely better off for it.

As downbeat as this all seems, now that I'm rereading it to make sure it makes sense (I'm not sure of that at all), I'm actually in a pretty good mood. It's just that I'd like to be Taking On The World, and not Painfully Hacking Sputum Into A Bag OMG EEW.