I'm in so much pain
Scene: Clara becomes the 27th person to suggest I obtain some antibiotics to fix my bronchitis
Medium: Instant Message
me: "Because acute bronchitis is usually caused by viruses, antibiotics (medicines that kill bacteria) usually do not help. Even if you cough up mucus that is colored or thick, antibiotics probably won’t help you get better any faster."
me: just FYI
clara: lol
clara: shows what I know, eh?
me: well, you're not alone. I should memorize that paragraph simply because I'm running out of ways to say "antibiotics won't work"
clara: lol
clara: make a nametag that says it
clara: "Hello my name is antibiotics don't work"
me: HELLO
my name is
Because acute bronchitis is usually caused by viruses, antibiotics (medicines that kill bacteria) usually do not help. Even if you cough up mucus that is colored or thick, antibiotics probably won’t help you get better any faster
clara: exactly.
clara: now wear that everywhere.
me: I wish my keyboard had a "transsubstantiate digital bits into physical object"
clara: you mean "print"?
3 Comments:
That's really funny! I have a feeling, though, that it's not as funny to everyone else, not for any reason in particular, I think I'm just weird. Well, actually, I know I'm pretty weird
I thought it was funny heh :P
Bronchitis is an inflammation of the bronchi of the lungs, that causes the cilia of the bronchial epithelial cells to stop functioning.
Like many disorders, bronchitis can be acute (short-term), or chronic (long-lasting). Chronic bronchitis is a problem commonly seen in smokers, whereas acute bronchitis is almost always caused by viral infection, as elucidated by recent studies.
# Usually lasts about 7 to 10 days.
# can last up to 90 days.
# rarely responds to antibiotics due to its primarily viral etiology and should be treated symptomatically.
# complications are more likely with comorbidities such as smoking, asthma, and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.
yay for wiki
Huh. The guy who produces my crappy-late-night-talk-show caught viral bronchitis last winter.
We would be there, doing our show, and Rezza would cut in every now and again to say, "hey guys, I have Jim from Campustown on line *COUGH COUGH HACK WHEEZE COUGH LUNGCOLLAPSE* two," and Jim from Campustown would be all "hey man, shouldn't you get some anti-biotics?" and Rezza would, after further ravaging his vocal cords with body-shaking coughs, manage to explain that he was suffering from *viral* bronchitis and that antibiotics wouldn't help and a doctor couldn't do anything for him.
That was the first week. Weeks two and three were somewhat worse, and my co-host and I showed up for week four ready to jam Rezza full of powerful sedatives, but it turned out that he had lost his voice altogether, so we just didn't give him a microphone and everything was okay for a while.
He started to get his voice back around week six, which was the week of the huge station trivia contest/fundraiser/thing KALEIDOQUIZ which Rezza was supposed to help run. Except it wasn't really *his* voice but rather the voice of a sixty year-old throat cancer survivor. We had to cancel our talk show that week, and the day before the event our boss and three of the station managers pinned Rezza down in the recording studio and told him that not only was he benched from KQ but that if he didn't go see a doctor by the end of the week he was fired. Because you can't really work in radio if your voice sounds as though you've recently performed a tracheotomy on yourself.
Anyway, the next morning Rezza went to student health and saw a doctor, who prescribed him some kind of anti-inflammatory stuff. A week later he finally stopped coughing, his voice was mostly restored by the end of the month and he kept his job at the radio station.
The moral of the story is, WTF KEVSPACE YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ARE MORTALLY ILL, PLEASE GO SEE A DOCTOR OR SOMETHING BEFORE YOUR LUNGS EXPLODE AND YOU DIE. SHIT.
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