It's funny because it's inaccurate

I use iTunes only to transfer files to my iPod. I laughed out loud when I accidentally clicked on "Top 25 Most Played" and saw this.

Trent Gets Nerded

Finally, I got a video capture card working! It's only seven years late, but now I've finally made that video file I said I'd make of a magic trick that culminates in my friend Trent getting hit in the eye with a box of Nerds candy. If you've ever wanted to see a video of a magic trick that culminates in my friend Trent getting hit in the eye with a box of Nerds candy, now's your chance! (download nerded.avi, 7.48 MB, DivX format)

Dance Dance Immolation

It seems like everyone who has friends who willingly play Dance Dance Revolution for any significant amount of time all arrive at the same joke, eventually: a DDR machine that will physically punish you for wrong steps. The object of telling this joke, in a group setting, is to see who can come up with the most amusingly violent theoretical machine, whilst still maintaining that small amount of plausibility.

Well, somebody has created a version of DDR that will launch celebratory flames into the air if you dance well, and SET YOU ON FIRE if you perform poorly. That's "set you on fire" as in "actually physically blast you in the face with a flamethrower." It was created, of course and oh-so-beatifully as far as us literalists are concerned, for the Burning Man festival. There's not much to the website, but you know what they say about pictures and how many words they are individually worth.

New Old Content!

Woo and also hoo! With tonight's updates, I'm 99% closer to migrating all my old surviving website content to this domain and 1% closer to having a real menu or something to fool you into thinking this isn't just another blog! Even though those two goals are unrelated, their completely made-up percentages of completion add up to 100, which must mean I've completed something, and completed it completely. Now, if you wanted to read my E3 report all over again, or you're Mikie and you are about to experience it for the very first time, you can find it easily. And if you want to read something that I wrote forever ago about Kevin Smith's comic book store, you can do that, too! Yes, your options truly are dual, here at videocrab dot com.

"It still hurts!"

Q. Would I be interested in a seven-page transcript of a conversation that three famously nerdy famous nerds had about Star Wars, even though I don't care that much about Star Wars?
A. Surprisingly, yes.

RIP Bob Moog

Please observe the following moment for Bob Moog. It is not a moment of silence; it is, in fact, a moment of high-frequency modulated sine wave audio: MWAOOMWAOOMWAOOMWAOO

Here's to a man who changed the face of music overnight, and founded a company with a fantastic sense of humor.

Bookdump

Here's a mini-linkdump to remind myself of books I need to own in order to become a more fully-actualized human being in the 21st century, or whatever, as soon as I'm once again receiving paychecks: Street Angel - Personal, Portable, Pedestrian - Freedom of Expression®

Link got the Sniper Ammo

It's certainly doomed, but it's quite amusing at the moment-- here's a Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time online mod for Halo. It's in such early stages of development that when Green Link kills White Link, it's uncharacteristically bloody and yields Sniper Rifle ammunition. Man oh man, do I miss the spare time I had in such rich abundance when I was 17.

Huh huh

Look out, Felix Dennis! I'm having fun with this Flickr-based magazine cover generator.

Congratulations!

I don't know why us "slackers" hate this guy so much. I mean, he's one of us!

Slipknot vs. Burger King

Words cannot express just how amused I am by this. "In the below August 4 letter, the band's lawyers charge that Coq Roq ... was created ... 'in order to influence the Slipknot generation to purchase Chicken Fries.'" Please, please tell me that only the band Slipknot thinks that there is a "Slipknot generation."

Ranft RIP

Sometimes, a really awesome person dies for no good reason. I don't like those times very much.

Magical Guitar Instruction

I bought a rather obscure PlayStation peripheral and it came with free engrish! (It did not, however, come with a strap, for some reason.)

TransVisioRama

Proof that any diatribe can be lifted into the realm of the sublime if quotes from Futurama are used liberally throughout: TransVision 2005. I wasn't aware of the TransVision conference until somebody shared this article with me, and although it sounds like just the sort of thing I'd want to attend, I'm not at all surprised that it ended up the way it did. "Interesting. No, wait, the other thing... Tedious."

Take that, evil doctor!

I finally finished both Harry Potter and Cave Story! "Hooray," you are saying to yourself according to this sentence, "that newly liberated spare time means he'll be blogging like crazy, with entire paragraphs and all sorts of obscure links to follow!"

Well see, er, my girlfriend, who has been in Germany for two months, will be returning tonight (unless another of her flights gets cancelled, in which case I'll be speed-reading a few flight training manuals, breaking into some sort of airfield, and pressing "Triangle" on everything I see)... so, ha ha ha, I dunno, read this blog about somebody's gaming grandma because it's fantastic. (And this link is here mostly to remind myself to get a copy of Gunbird 2 as soon as possible.) SEE YOU IN A YEAR, HA

Melt Banana Cell-Scape lyrics

Lyrics for Melt Banana's Cell-Scape.

The Internet didn't seem to have them, so I gave them to the Internet. I tried to format the text exactly as it is in the booklet. Enjoy, all two people who are interested!

RollerCheeseVader

I have a new favorite photograph. And it'll be hard to top. (The entire photoset it's in is golden, really.)

Homina Homina

Terry Taylor's soundtrack work for The Neverhood (I just decided, upon reflection) changed my life completely. Seriously, all hyperbole aside, the idea that somebody got paid to make music perfectly suited to a computer game that, seemingly, would appeal to me completely and me alone... well, it gave me hope. Perhaps it was the lifeseed that grew into my current unkillable optimism? Who knows?? Anyway, the music has been gloriously reissued in a deluxe 2CD set, available here. Buy it if you like music and are not afraid of fun.

Cave Story

I must admit: when I'm not doing the whole "having a life" thang, my time has been taken up by slowly trying to finish Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince before some bastard lets slip anything about the ending to me (mention even one hint of one important name or event in the book AND DIE), and playing through Cave Story. Cave Story is an indie PC game, coded by just one Japanese man known only as Pixel, later translated faithfully into English by people who are clearly awesome. It plays like a love note to every innovative platform game ever made, and if you've got a PC (and, ideally, a decent gamepad) I urge you to give it a try. Unzipping strange compression formats and applying patches can be a pain, which is in fact the reason I resisted playing Cave Story for so long, but it really is fantastic.

Anyway, here's the game, and here's the obligatory link to the Independent Gaming Source's interview with the game's creator.

The Sega Homestar

I don't know what this is, but I bet it has trouble with its R's.

Bgwuh

Lumines.
Erotic.
Fan.
Fiction.
Click and laugh.

"Do not want!"

Just in case you missed it the first time around: THE BACKSTROKE OF THE WEST

Hi Metafilter!

I love you. Sorry there isn't any actual, you know, content on this website, but since you (Metafilter) bothered to click that link and come all the way here, uh... see if you can beat your old high score, MEFI! And hey, speaking of things even tangentially related to video games, do yourself and the world and the very concept of love itself a favor and Buy Psychonauts!

Infinite Flickr: The Movie

This is eerily mesmerizing.