Giant Enemy Crab

I knew it was only a matter of time before somebody mashed up a whole bunch of video game crabs, set it to a gabber remix of Sony's weaksauce E3 press conference statements, and got linked by me.

Super Linky Ball

I actually think I'd be more interested in Zelda if it looked like this. (I also know that I am crazy.)

DIE, HEATHENS!!

Slaughter UN troops... for Jesus! (And profit)

"Ooh! Cake!"

I don't think I could eat these. Or these. (Not without crying, anyway.)

"With Sound"

Sometimes, I look around at my favorite blogs and worry that I am not quite geeky enough to be part of the club. But then I see something like this and I feel a stirring in my heart, an overwhelming yearning in my soul, a desire to max out my credit card, and I realize... if I may contain insufficient geek, I am certainly stuffed with abundant dork.

Seat Invaders

I wonder: Is there a Space Invaders machine at the Smithsonian?

Still Less Dorky Than The N-Gage

Can you hear me now? No? What? Wait-- UP UP DOWN DOWN...

HEEEEEEY!!!

Since Pole Position is the very first video game I can remember playing (and one of my first memories, period)... you'd wonder, after viewing this commercial, why I am not so much more TOTALLY BADASS.

Lore Amore

Opinion: the Internet is better off for having Lore Sjoberg on it. Wired.com in particular is exponentially improved. (new game controllers - grumpy gamers - the murse problem)

LOSER LOL

My immediate reactions to this advertisement:

1. What the crap kind of cabinet is that for a Neo-Geo?
2. If that's Metal Slug X then I'm better than him
3. Wait... doesn't Axe realize that it's placed a significant number of in-game ads for its body spray products in popular video game titles?
4. When will this stereotype die? (Perhaps the game industry itself needs to grow up a bit first.)

Rated E For Everyone

The only problem with trying to parody games like Grand Theft Auto and Postal is that they already exist as parodies of themselves. But anything that brings attention to how stupid* they are is all right by me.

*Note: Grand Theft Auto III (and especially the expansion packs-- er, sequels) are brilliantly-concieved moneymaking entertainment products. I simply do not think they are very good games, and I consider them to be emblematic of how irresponsible and lazy the game industry has become. And I'm certainly not saying games shouldn't be stupid; some of my favorite games are.

Surprisingly Accurate Trees

YES. I wish I had a color printer and an extra eight hours. (And... a little more manual dexterity.)

Hazing

I can't figure out if this makes me want to work for Pixar more or less than I already did.