The Game Boy Microborg protects booth babes from armies of relentless camera zombies:



That tiny plaque is informing us that a special Game Boy cartridge and USB cable will soon be available, so you can watch movies and listen to music on the go! Just imagine if Nintendo had released such a product before everything else already had that capability! Actually, I'd rather see a kid fail to be entertained by Spongebob Squarepants and drool on a Game Boy than a PSP. But even cooler would be a parent that actually allows their kid to be bored for a minute or two and perhaps develop an imagination! If you're curious, the Game Boy Micro features an impressively crisp two-inch screen, a brightness knob to adjust for different lighting conditions (finally), and the compelling lack of a reason to exist at all. Naturally, I'll be buying one on launch day. Because, as it stands, I can only play Game Boy Advance games on four different devices. I just realized how sarcastic and mean I've been to Nintendo! I'm sorry, Nintendo. I kid because I love, and because I keep buying these things so I have earned the right to be snarky.



The demo Micros were tethered to a frazzled-looking (but immaculately coiffed) Nintendo representative, by which I mean "booth babe," and I couldn't help but feel a little creepy playing with one. Luckily, I foolishly assumed that it would not be creepy if my girlfriend did it too. It's a good thing she and I have such an open, understanding relationship. This particular unit had inside it a Fire Emblem cartridge, Fire Emblem being a text-heavy strategy RPG. Again, the Game Boy Micro features a two-inch screen. Nintendo's Virtual Boy-initiated campaign to ruin the eyesight of 7-year-olds around the globe continues unabated.



Nintendo plans to market a line of interchangeable faceplates for the Game Boy Micro, some of which can be seen here. Did I mention that I really want one? I could pass it around to grateful friends when waiting in line for something! I could get my Puzzle Fighter on if my Nintendo DS and PSP are inconveniently located within a zippered pocket! In this picture, Laurie throws up the ol' Double Double in excitement over these possibilities, as a man gazes through the Game Boy Microborg's transparent body, pretending only for an instant that, when it comes to the game of redefining the future of portable entertainment, he is not a participant, but an observer. An observer with Game Boy Micros for eyes. Perhaps he is "cyberpunk."



Won't somebody feed Harry Potter's adorable, starving firecrab?? I would have, but I couldn't figure out how! Possibly because I am old. Fun Fact!: While I struggle with Harry Potter, over in Japan, the number 2 best-selling DS "game" is Touhoku Daigaku Mirai Kagakugijutsu Kyoudoukenkyuu Center: Kahashima Ryuuta Kyouju no Nou o Kitaeru Otona DS Training, or Touhoku University's Future Technology Collaborative Research Centre's Professor Ryuuta Kawashima presents: DS Brain Training for Adults. The coolest part about what I just wrote is that you think it is a joke, but then your heart tells you that it is not.



Burnout: Legends for the PSP. Hell. Yeah. I don't know how Criterion does it. They could code up a 3D Burnout for the Tiger GameCom. And they could do it in a month. With their toes. While simultaneously redefining a tired genre. And doing the butterfly stroke in EA cashtubs. Criterion > you.